On Sunday night , CNN was just minding its job , doing its thing . Which is to say , they were endlessly rehashing every moment detail of the election in a desperate attack to convert themselves that citizenry have n’t already made up their mind about the 2016 election . And then there was a pointless exchange . How was this otiose exchange unlike all other wasted telephone exchange ? This one had cocktail . Mazel Tov cocktails to be exact .
During this phony bonus Jeopardy round of Beelzebub vs. Benghazi , Trump surrogateScottie Nell Hughes was making a tip about the fact that Jay - Z execute a concert for Hillary Clinton in Ohio . Specifically , she foretell Jay - Z ’s ethics and perspicacity into question based on the TV for the song , “ No Church In The Wild , ” from Jay - Z and Kanye West ’s 2013 record album view the can . “ One of his principal videos , ” she say , “ starts off with a crowd throw off Mazel Tov cocktails . ” Actually , the video recording start out with a gang throw Perm cocktails .
What is a " mazel tov cocktail"pic.twitter.com / xmTiBnoaia
by nature , Twitter had its play with the comment .
Mazel Tov cocktail formula :
One part vodkaTwo parts tonic waterDash of ManishevitzCopious tears from parent knock over at your life choices .
— Daniel W. Drezner ( @dandrezner)November 7 , 2016
Any Mazel Tov cocktail recipe that does n’t include at least a dash of bitter is culturally ignorant .
As anyone with sense knows , a proper Mazel Tov cocktail is
2 oz Manischewitz1 oz gefilte fish water1 bolt of your Bubbie ’s lonely tearshttps://t.co/nEvbTbsJVv
— Justin Cohen ( @juscohen)November 7 , 2016
No , we have no musical theme what a " mazel tov cocktail " is .
Even Hughes herselfadmittedshe perhaps should have slept more in the run - up to this rally .
But we at Supercall are not interested in jab playfulness . We just desire people to be happy . And we ’ve found people are broadly happiest when they ’re on the business closing of a squiffy boozing . So we ’d like to meekly provide some genuine Mazel Tov cocktail for those who might require one right wing about now .
The clearest conception of a Mazel Tov cocktail , of course , is a shot of vodka . Over the centuries , the Judaic people ’s tenure in Eastern Europe has left them with a soft spot for the clean , neat stuff . We could maneuver to all kinds of instances of this , but for our money , the advanced apotheosis of Judaic vodka shots isSammy ’s Roumanian’sice - encased vodka bottles , from whence rain buckets the rattling , glutinous H2O of lifespan .
If you ’re count for a slenderly older version , the Jewish l’chaim stab was memorialize in Fiddler On The Roof ( which also show the preternaturalpeace - making powers of the saloon ) .
But if we ’re being fair , a cocktail requires at least two ingredients . So we have decide to rehabilitate one of our most popular cocktails this time of year , Make America Grape Again , which we create ( could you guess ? ) in honor of Donald Trump . Our MAGA cocktail is essentially grape succus and calcium oxide , ironic sway with egg whites to give it a fabulous mane , then garnish with half-baked straws ( no congress ) . It has no hard liquor , because Donald does n’t drink . And if we ’re being dependable it does n’t have a whole lot of Mazel Tov either .
To make a MAGA Tov , simply substitute Manischewitz for grapeshot juice and add two ounces ofpotato vodka .
Which is to say , pour 3 oz Manischewitz , 2 oz vodka , the juice of half a calcium hydroxide and the white of one egg into a shaker and teetotal milkshake . Then tot up water ice to the shaker and shake again . Strain into an ice - fill highball glass and top with washing soda water . And do n’t forget that crazy straw .
We wish everyone a well-chosen and respectable election 24-hour interval . Everything is going to be FINE . If you ask a refresher on how to say cheers in other language , it’sright here .
