Ahh yes , another workweek , another emotions - pack episode of XHamster ’s mode - too - entertaining - for - its - own - good reality show , The Sex Factor … where contestants lovingly and willingly have gender with each other in front of a porn star jury . altogether normal stuff here .
This instalment open up with a shot of our control panel through a TV monitor sheepishly explaining that they ’ve realize how uncomfortable they ’re making people by yelling at them while they ’re having sexual practice . Seriously . So , they ’re going to stop critiquing their performer on their sex science in person and start yelling at them through the TV . Imagine , a world where the television set yells at you ! What a time to be alive .
The first prospect involve Khaya Peake and Donnie Rock – a valet that Khaya described as “ unattractive and stupid . ” hold back … what ? Why ? Oh , because this is a reality TV show and the producers have probably seen one too many episodes ofUnREAL . We need play ! Contestant dramatic play ! But I digress …
TheSexFactor
I actually found it more entertaining and innate to have the judges aggroup around the TV monitor than bark out commands in the same elbow room as the performer . Everyone seems more chill and favorable – even our faux - Simon Powell , Keiran Lee . They recommend the actors for their choices , critiquing sure positions in the way a professional Captain Cook would blab about a really choice slab of salmon . Mm , mm , salmon !
get ’s just throw it out there : these performers are really bally good . Donnie Rock stays knockout for over an hour , giving substance to his sentimental last name .
“ We are at long last watching a smut , ” says Keiran Lee , as the crowd marvels at probably the first good scene of the season . Donnie Rock is a killer protester who do it like a champ – whatever was find before that keep him from feeling comfy was overcome . Donnie got his vallecula back , Stella - trend .
TheSexFactor
Who ’s unattractive and stupidnow , Khaya ?
Oh , it ’s also deserving mentioning that Lexi Belle inexplicably holds onto a banana tree for the intact time she ’s watching the scene . Literally no account .
Then , we ’re on to scene two : Johnny Black and Allie Eve Knox . The judge pass a long time – like , a really retentive clock time – talking about mamilla licking and how it ’s emasculating . Jesus , hombre , did a pair of teat collectively kill all your parents ? leave alone the nipples alone !
TheSexFactor
Then , we see something that we barely ever see in porn … unless you ’re into smut from Utah : ironic - humping . So much dry - humping ! I ’m sorry , I thought this was a contender starring grown adult , not horny teenagers . stripling from Utah . The justice surmise that it ’s happening because Johnny Black ca n’t quite get up to the challenge – I am on their side on that one .
Keiran Lee – who must have been grab by a manufacturer and told to be dainty after last calendar week ’s sequence – occur into the room and full - on embracing Black . He cover him like a football game coach embrace hombre named Rudy who are just too belittled to dally . In the goal , Johnny taps out and calls it a day .
The poor hombre just ca n’t make it happen . End of scene , everyone get dress .
TheSexFactor
Buddy Hollywood lays it out for the camera in the next shot and makes it known that Adrian Lee Ray is the “ worst lay ” he ’s ever had . So , he ’s not super excited to do it with her . Buddy outlines some instance to support his argument , most of which revolve around how she ’s not vocal during relation . In Adrian ’s audience , she sustain his arguing by concord that she ’s just not a very vocal person .
“ I guess I ’m not good at falsify things , ” say Adrian . So , yeah , this pornographic scene should be fun .
Then , something happens that I ’ve literally never seen in smut before : the actors begin having an argument during a stimulation . Buddy come out taking off Adrian ’s dress while mid - fight . It ’s awkward and unbelievable and then they start make out .
Then they discontinue and oppose some more . What the holy hell am I watch , this is insane . Lexi Belle steps in to cut the tensity and propose having a “ hate - fuck . ” Hate - screw are fun , she say . They are ! So , the scene terminate with the judges threatening both of them to have sex or they ’ll be cut . Then , in a show where mass have sexual activity with each other , they do n’t have sex . And then the show ends . severely , it just ends .
Jesus , what a rollercoaster of emotions ! It all starts out with a killer performance by Donnie Rock and his shockingly gruelling member , but then – like a even penis – the show teeters into a flabby disaster . How could these Guy have ever considered a life history in porn when have more than one other person in a room makes them limper than hebdomad - quondam cultivated celery ? Yeah , we get that this is a foreign format … but get on , this is a reality show on a porn site . It ’s still porn and they ca n’t make it happen . Last week ’s sequence made me think thatThe Sex Factorhad finally started coming into its own … but today ’s want of sexuality ( on a show about sex ) made it seem like it just came in its own face .
signalise up herefor our casual Thrillist email , and get your fix of the good in food / boozing / fun .