It is n’t about the tinny blueberry bush . Or the half - cost avocado . Or the shelves upon shelves of knockoff cereal .
Or possibly it is a small piece – I get down with a bowlful of Marshmallows & Stars every once in awhile , sue me – but there has to be more . I ’ve never been much of a bargain hunting watch , and even though I would sooner eat my phone than meet you at Center City Sips these daylight , I refuse to trust that my XXX have become this pitiful , this promptly .
And yet , the fact remains : my Saturday morning stumble to Aldi well makes the weekend highlighting reel .
Daniel Fischel/Thrillist
Do n’t know Aldi yet ? It ’s graspable . Despite arriving stateside decades ago and successfully infiltrating the Philadelphia arena , the German discount grocer maintains a strategically humble profile to keep price as bowelless potential . No advertising , no Instagram - desirable produce subdivision , no tall mallow sampling , no way . Although operated by the good people behindTrader Joe ’s , the zero - frills chain is unquestionably less buoyant . ( Which , to be fair , is n’t all that difficult . TJ ’s employee : blink those starry , glazed - over eyes twice if you forget how to lower the corners of your mouth . )
My Aldi is n’t just any Aldi – it ’s the South Philly Aldi , a location unidentified to even diehards who happily cross the bridge circuit forMama Cozzi’swarm embrace . It does its best to blend in with the Goodwill next door , but as I discover one glorious day last outpouring , it ’s very much there , lollygag in the shadows of Sunoco at Front and Oregon , accessible by what may or may not be an interdimensional portal vein .
This , I suspect , contribute to its might . In a citywhere wins can feel few and far between , $ .99 Coriandrum sativum is a very real accomplishment . In a region where even the squirrels bemuse side - middle , a underground Triscuit sale means something . In a macrocosm where Donald Trump could assume atomic codes , during the summer of the dumpster swimming pocket billiards , the Aldi star burn specially bright .
Did I mention the parking lot ? Because yes , there ’s a parking hatful . A actual , alive , far - as - the - middle - can - see parking hatful in South Philafuckingdelphia . have us wallow .
First - time shoppers discover their first sojourn to this enshroud gem a little confusing , so as the South Philly Aldi ’s Extremely Unofficial Ambassador , allow me to help .
Step 1: Pick a parking spot
Any parking berth . Hell , nibble three . Let the copiousness lave over you like a warm bath as you enter an alternate reality in which South Philly is not essay to destruct your elevator car or your emotional state . This will never happen again , but as they say , it is better to have loved and miss .
Step 2: Pay for your cart
You might notice the lack of abandoned carts cluttering up the beneficial Parking Lot in All the Land . That ’s because Aldi requires a $ .25 deposit , a societal contract that Philadelphians not only award but gleefully embracing , rushing over to give quarters to confused newbies . Welcome to the Twilight Zone .
Step 3: Shop with wild abandon
Come for the $ 1.99 hummus , remain for the palette of discontinued LaCroix . And yes , that is an thriftiness - sized boxwood of jalapeño poppers – you do you .
Step 4: Feel smug about remembering your bags
Aldi agitate for udder , but that ’s hunky-dory , because you remembered yours , you thrifty steward of the Earth . Gold star .
Step 5: Feel smug about fitting everything in said bags
drink in it in and linger in the glory . It look in effect on you .
Step 6: Do donuts in the parking lot
Remember this feeling , and go away into the purview , friend . Today was a win .
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