Houston is often called a metropolis of transplants . While the majority of the influx likely strike here for body of work , each transplant can be divided into unique categories based on a mix of sociological statistic , geographic origin , and hardcore , unapologetic stereotyping . Sorry we ’re not meritless ( unless we profoundly offend you , and then , OK , we are a fiddling dingy ) .
The Southern belle
This fresh tea - sippin ’ gal may seem free , but three Fireballs later and she ’s let her country out in full force out . you could find her pestiferous dancing on microscope stage at Howl at the Moon and catch her way of life into free slice of previous - night pizza pie before fall on the pavement after the bars near .
That guy from Beaumont
He may be a little less polished than the rest of your coworkers ( he is from the butthole of Texas ) , but he ’s the only intellect work dinners are fun … mostly because he ’s pound like , five Lone Stars , and you ’re at a sushi restaurant .
The insufferable one from “The City”
This not - so - rare creature holds steady to the belief that NYC is the centre of the universe , so no one ’s really sure why they moved here in the first plaza . After a few months of Houston - bashing and take their mind blown by the deficiency of a subway system of rules , this person bring in that being able to afford a car is way estimable than partake in their commute with a pizza pie informer . take them a workplace - in - progress .
The one from Dallas
A star sign divided , half of this crew is Big D drive - or - die , and the other one-half could n’t waitress to get out of that hellhole . you could tell one from the other by the size of their hair and/or whether they own a vanity denture with a reference to “ money ” in it .
Aggies
This brainwashed bunch reps A&M lifetime hard , whether they are reinvigorated out of school and still pad a puppy love on Johnny Football ( despite the fact that he ’s the Shia LaBeouf of the sport ) , or they ’re your balding coworker who rocks Aggie ties and drogue , and for whom you are deeply abashed .
The spot-on Austinite
These specimens have determine to “ Keep Austin Weird ” even though they are n’t go to school day in Austin any longer . A hempen necktie - laboured , shaping bag - free way of lifetime may have gotten to their heads , but we ca n’t tell apart , because their ironic facial hair is embarrass everything . assay them out at Whole Foods , where they ’ll be pass right smart too much money on constituent ingredients for their homemade weed juice .
The Californian that’s way cooler than you
This rare species is wholly non - judgmental , despite the fact that they are right smart cooler than you . It does n’t count if they ’ve been eat In - N - Out for years and will never sympathize your dearest for Whataburger . It ’s hunky-dory that they grew up surf on beautiful beaches and all you had was Galveston . for sure , they bronze well and are preposterously good - sounding , but they appreciate you for your witty backchat . It ’s all good , man … but is it really ?
The overly proud “Chicagoan”
ordinarily observe in packs of six or more watch da Bears at Pub Fiction , these urban Midwesterners have huffy lovemaking for all things “ Chi - caw - go , ” and they are n’t afraid to secernate you about it . If you want them to stop telling you about it , necessitate them which fringe suburb they are actually from .
The small-town Midwesterner
This character deem on to too much Midwestern guilt to dwell about being from Chicago … but not enough to not get haphazard at the flip cup table .
The preppy New Englander
Decked out in Vineyard Vines and convinced he can pull off a bow tie , this charmer feels oddly at home in the South . unluckily for him , Houston ’s not really the South . You ’ll discover the prepster spend a penny it rain down at some of the city ’s more refined establishments , from the old - schoolhouse Tony ’s to – who are we kid ? – the airstrip club .
The UF alum gator-clapping down the street
Bro or bro - E , this Gator has no deficit of dubiously fashionable crosscut shorts . They are sluttish to spot because they will be the first to get into impudent bust in the fountain , but are bundled up as though we survive in a tundra at the first mite of frigidness . Plus , they can drink … a lot .
The engineer/doctor from overseas
Aka your boss .
The trendy European
You ’re not really sure how this dude is always hang out with Instagram model considering the fact that he wears man - pris ( that ’s man capris , ICYWW ) . You also have no idea what exactly he does to make all the cash he throws around , but you ’re fair sure it ’s involves some type of marketing and promoting for a – nope , definitely ready so sense . It has to be drug - related .
The one in the rotational program
Fresh out of college , this transitional character makes no effort to get to know the city because they are only here for three month before moving on to the next big matter ( please , let it be Beaumont ) . Later , hater!Sign up herefor our daily Houston e-mail and be the first to get all the food / drink / play in town .
Flickr/Ashley Webb (edited)
GLady/Pixabay
Flickr/Christopher Michel
Flickr/discosour
Flickr/Becky Lai
DayronV/Pixabay