There's One Right Way to Eat a Burrito

take the air into anyfast - insouciant Mexican jointand you ’ll inevitably bear witness to what can only be described as a modern - twenty-four hours massacre : dozens of quagmire - jawed gringo , sawing at their gorgeousburritoswith the unwieldy determination of an infant electronic jamming a square block into a round trap . It ’s enough to send Sarah McLachlan sob to her own damn angels . It ends here .

But first, the ugly

Before I get into the best way to dig into that gloriously overstuff small donkey , we need to go over a brief lean of devastatingly flagitious , absolutely improper ways to eat that burrito .

Wrong: unwrapping the entire thing

Such a definitive rookie move . What are you planning on doing with this floppy , rambunctious , completely unprotected raft ? Pick it up and pour forth it everywhere ? Poke at it until it falls apart ? gaze at it yearningly ? Get a literal grip .

Wrong: slicing it down the middle and spooning out the insides

I once broke up with someone solely because she insist on butchering her burritos this way of life ( fine , there were other intellect , but this turd is unforgivable ) .

Wrong: attempting to use a knife and fork at any point

Who are you , George Costanza ? recede the utensil , son . You look like a damn fool .

Now that we’ve covered the bad, let’s get into the good

The agency I get down incorporates some unambiguously resourceful innovations . Bon appétit .

1. Get her ready

Stand the wrapped burrito upright on the table , lightly pressing the seat down to steady it . Unwrap the top in or so of tin foil , smooth it monotone , and adjust by .

2. Trim the top

seize with teeth the top nook of the burrito , holding it lightly in the middle ( do n’t squeeze it ! ) . Then , eat an even business across to top , finishing just above the atomic number 50 foil telephone circuit .

3. Grab a few chips and scoop out the filling

After you stand it back up on the table , transform the burrito ’s entrails into the best dip ever .

4. Pinch & bite

After a few good scoops you ’ll be left with extra tortilla that can be pinched closed to avoid spillage as you unwrap more of the cannister hydrofoil . Do this , then feed across until you get to the next overstuffed part .

5. Repeat steps 3 and 4

Do this until there ’s only about an inch of burrito left stomach .

6. Take a break… or don’t

If you get full at any point , just lift the top part of the tortilla close , pick up your reserve tin foil , and wrap it around the top of the babe burrito . soda it in the fridge for succeeding delectation . Or keep live , no sagaciousness here .

7. Savor the last remaining bites

When you reach the end , full unwrap what ’s leave of the burrito , then fold up the upper part of the tortilla inwards until it forms an endearing little dumpling . Enjoy that concentrated delectability . Welcome to the self-aggrandizing leagues , hermano .

eating a burrito