Ahhh , tourer season – that magical time of year when locals need to allot excess travel meter to navigate the hundreds of thou of slow - walking tourists choke off the pavement . Do n’t get us wrong – we really do passion seeing people from around the globe enjoying our bonny metropolis . However , it can also get a short draining , and when you ’re anywhere near Downtown , chances are reasonably solid that you ’ve learn all of the stick with remarks at least once or twice from out - of - towners . " How do I get to The Miracle Mile ? "
“Deep dish is good, but I don’t know how you guys eat it all the time”
Here ’s a hint : we do n’t . In fact , many locals only consume deep dishwhenthey’re entertaining out - of - town Edgar Guest ( oh , the irony ) . How ’s about you test some real Chicago - style pizza next time you visit ? Yes , it ’s lean crust . No , it ’s not New York manner . Seriously , just prove it for yourself .
“I didn’t know Chicago had beaches!”
OK , so we kinda get why people may be surprised to see sandy beach in Chicago . However , it ’s the people that say thing like , “ I did n’t do it Chicago was on the ocean ! ” that really kill us . child , this is on the button why you ’re hale to take those seemingly pointless map quizzes in school : so you do n’t turn up to be that cat that ca n’t remember introductory US geographics .
“Drivers are really aggressive here”
Actually , you ’re just not pay attention to the walk signal . If we had a dollar bill for every metre we get wind holidaymaker blindly take the air into traffic along Michigan Ave , we ’d have enough to grease one’s palms a raw car to tug aggressively in . Did n’t your female parent ever learn you to look both agency before crossing ?
“So… do you know any gang members or mobsters?”
This is a silly question . Anyway , I heard you ’re from Texas . Do you know any cowboys ? Oh , you went to high shoal with a few guy that became cowboys ? And your neighbor ’s uncle is a cowman ? There ’s your solvent . Capisce ?
“Why doesn’t anyone have a Chicago accent?"
Because you ’re Downtown , that ’s why . Ninety pct of the people around you are belike visiting ( or transplanted ) from someplace like Omaha , Nebraska . If you venture out into a non - touristy neighborhood , you ’ll certainly ascertain " da Chicawgo accent " of your dreams .
“Compared to New York, Chicago is… ”
While most of the time , this is followed up with a civilised compliment ( i.e. , “ Chicago is so much cleaner ! ” ) , constantly being compare to New York is tiring . Yes , both city have a batch in coarse . Yes , we know we ’re better . End of story .
“Who visits Chicago?!”
Yes , we ’ve in reality been ask this ridiculous question by snarky out - of - towner who ’ve never set foot in Chicago . In case you ’ve also been wonder , here ’s your resolution : over 50 million domestic visitorsin 2015 alone , not including international visitors . grant to factual touristry statistic , Chicago is the third most - visited US city after Orlando and New York ( booyah ! ) .
“Where’s [bar/restaurant/hotel]?”
mind , Chicago is a fully grown - ass urban center with countless bars , restaurants , and hotels . If you give us an address , we ’ll be happy to point you in the right direction , and if you ’re visiting from another country , we ’ll likely stop and face up the information for you . But in earnest – do n’t get frustrated with us if we do n’t have an reply for " it ’s an Italian restaurant Downtown that bug out with an ' M. ' "
“Chicagoans must be really fat”
Contrary to what you may have gleaned viaSaturday Night Liveskits and instalment ofMike & Molly , Chicagoans are ( gasp ! ) reasonably median metropolis - habitant . We may have a taste for terribly unhealthy food , but we balance it out by spending plenty of fourth dimension outdoors and walk style , wayyy more than most Americans . In fact , Chicago is credibly one of the few place in America you ’ll still find hoi polloi out jogging in below - freezing temporary .
“It’s not as windy as I thought it would be!”
For the last time : the sobriquet the “ Windy City ” has perfectly nothing to do with our weather condition . Oh , and in case you ’re wonder , it ’s in reality the50th windiest cityin the America .
“Chicagoans are so nice!”
Actually , this one is still proficient to listen . What , did youreallyexpect us to be rude to your human face ? If you did n’t know what “ Midwestern prissy ” was before reading this post , you do now . Have a nice Clarence Day !
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