When Idropped more than 150 lb of the 307 lb I was carrying , I was undeniably tidy . I quit smoke , foreshorten back on drinking , and today , I ’m a certified personal trainer . Unlike most folks who lose a bunch of weight , I ’ve maintained my free weight loss for over a decennium . What ’s my secret ? Hypnosis ? Nope . Paleo ? Nope . Cocaine ? Would n’t you care that . I ’ve make for my nookie off ( both literally and figuratively ) for these result , and I could n’t have done it without accepting myself , not just as a slender person , but as the person I was before I lost my weight .
It ’s easy to look at dramatic before - and - after system of weights - loss picture and imagine that the the great unwashed in them would never daydream about locomote back to the weighty versions of themselves . The truth , as is usually the case , is more complicated – there are some things I in reality miss about librate more than 300 lb . These are just a few of them .
People don’t see me in the same unthreatening light
My personality did n’t change when I lose weight , but how citizenry felt about it commute – a lot . Fat Me faithfully got laugh , but Fit Me is a passel more likely to be seen as " too intense " or " overconfident , " specially by stranger . I miss being myself , speaking my thinker , and let the jokes fly without wondering who I might rub the incorrect way of life .
When someone was interested in me, I knew it was genuine
When I was juicy , I film for granted that the folks who were into me wereactuallyinto me . All of me . As I lost weight , more and more people seemed draw to me for my looks alone . At first , I lapped up the tending like water supply in the desert . Once I in conclusion settle into my newfangled , flimsy body , I missed know to my core that the soul holding my script was holding all of me , and not just the part they could see .
I could drink more and tolerate pain better
In some way , being fertile made me tougher and more resilient . The spare bulk meant I rarely acquire cold , had a mellow threshold for sure kinds of hurting , and hold my liquor like a professional . Now that I ’m thin I shiver when the temperature drops , implore for clemency when I so much as see a tattoo gun , and charm a buzz from a thimbleful of pot liquor . gratefully , I ’m mentally and emotionally tougher than I once was – a daughter ’s got ta even off somehow , y’know ?
Other people left me alone
As a kid , I was unrelentingly judge , bully , and often beaten up for being big . As I beget one-time , ethnic music continue to judge me for my weight unit , but they seldom said – or did – anything about it . Weirdly , people seem to judge me to my face a heap more since I lost my weight . seldom does a day happen without someone point out on anything from my bang ( " You ’d look courteous in cad " ) and my body ( " Wow , you really are big - deboned , huh ? " ) , to the way I talk ( " Cursing is such a turnoff " ) and what colour I have on ( " grim ? Again ? " ) . For the most part it does n’t incommode me . Sometimes it make me mad enough to spit out . ( " Ugh ! Spitting is SO unladylike ! " )
Do I really wish I could go back to librate more than 300 lb ? No , credibly not . But I still weigh myself extremely lucky , because my perspective was developed in the context of being a fat woman . Now I ’m able to bring that perspective to my work , where I can serve others accept themselves , no matter what they weigh or how far they are from their finish .
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Courtesy of Sandra Costello Photography
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