The Crescent City has , for most of its existence , been known as a special place , one filled with magic both light and moody , revel , and an quenchless thirstiness for life story in all of its forms and colors . But if you experience here – hell , if you just visit New Orleans – you ’ll observe very quickly that this place is on the crazy side of quirky . Yeah , NOLA is weird . And while cities elsewhere have to campaign to " Keep Austin Weird " or " Keep Portland Weird , " there ’s no danger of the Big Easy ’s innate weirdness going away anytime presently . But what stool our weirdness so intrinsic to New Orleans ? What do we do here that would be consider crazypants - loonytown anywhere else ? We ’re glad you asked .
Saying hello toeveryone
in particular citizenry you do n’t do it , and always with eye impinging and a grinning . In other places , in particular unity north of the Mason - Dixon , and very specifically large cities on the East Coast , greeting strangers is foregather with hunch … even reject . Say hello , and people in those stead will likely think you ’re not just uncanny , but possibly also dangerous . But in NOLA , we have on the nose the opposite chemical reaction : the person who keeps to themselves and does n’t talk to anybody is the one who gives us pause .
Replying in intimately personal detail when asked how you’re doing
People elsewhere do n’t start utter about their children ’s woe at school , a elaborated travel guidebook of their latest holiday , or an forthcoming aesculapian function when a favorable neighbour ( or even stranger ) offhanded asks " How you doin' ? " or , more appropriately to NOLA , " Where y’at ? "
Dancing at funerals
Thejazz funeraland its accompanying 2d line parade is a long - heralded and much beloved New Orleans custom . We mourn , and then we dance . As far as we ’re concerned , that ’s the only appropriate way to observe the lives of our dearly departed . For that matter …
Dancing anywhere there’s music
This applies doubly for live music , and triply for live , local euphony . New Orleanians find it firmly bizarre , even abnormal , that people in other city would pay good money to see a show with wonderfully danceable music , and then flat - out refuse to dance . Life ’s too short , tribe . nobble those heels and cut a rug while the cutting off ’s full .
Learning all about someone based on where they went to school
Nope , not college : mellow schooling . Where a person spent their years in secondary education order worlds about who they are in the societal microcosm that is New Orleans . Whether it ’s public , private , charter , magnet , insular , Uptown , suburban , or even embarkation school , your answer is equivalent to giving a native New Orleanian a government dossier on your life .
Talking about your next meal while eating the current one
Yes , this happens in other places and cultures , but nowhere is this practice so dominant as it is in the Crescent City . Being obsessed with cuisine – from down home cookin ’ to elegant fine dining – is essentially a birthright here . The next meal , restaurant news , recipe , salacious local food creation gossip , openings , shutdown … these are all feasible and frequent mealtime topics .
Mixing your own cocktail sauce at the table
New Orleans eating place know well than to answer a meager share of underwhelming cocktail sauce with your seafood ( especially unsanded oyster ) … instead , you get to DIY with a survival of lemon wedges , spicy sauce , horseradish , and Worcestershire . Everyone like it a chip different – Mom sleep with the lemons , Uncle Ernie digs Tabasco , but no Armoracia rusticana – so we prefer to do it ourselves .
Keeping shrimp boots available at all times
… even on a sunny summer sidereal day . Sure , it might be clear and bright now , but in just about three time of day , the heavens are move to separate unfastened and ditch a metrical unit of rain on you for about an 60 minutes .
A distaste for cardinal directions
What the hell are north , Confederate States of America , east , and west ? I ’m sure you mean " Uptown , Downtown , Backatown , River - side , Lake - side , " right ?
Consider both natural disasters and infrastructure failures legitimate excuses to party
Hurricane parties ( in non - evacuation situation , of course ) are all too common every summer . Power outage ? Flood monition ? Tornados on the Northshore ? Well then , that ’s Beer o’clock ! And we ’re fairly certain that only in NOLA would a massive street crash justify its own vacation , as prove by the recent " Sinkhole de Mayo " celebration .
Finding glitter somewhere on your body every blessed day
It ’s the herpes virus of the costume mankind , and there are costume events most weeks in NOLA . That stuff and nonsense suffer everywhere , and is easy transmissible . So you have to get used to the fact that just about every New Orleans resident will have a bit of sparkle here or there at any given second . It is a sign of a life well last .
Using your dog to sell Jell-O shots
Yes indeed,#jelloshotdogwas a thing at Jazz Fest this past year … and this surprise exactly no one .
And drinking Jell-O shots at a fun run
It ’s 9:30 in the morning on an autumnal Tuesday … a endearing time for a charity fundraising jog in the park . Why not give up thing off with some liquid(ish ) courage ? Even localmarathonersare known to embark on their 26.2 sea mile by shotgunning a beer . No , this is not mutual elsewhere .
Ordering your cocktail “to go”
In other ( lesser ) places , you ’re forced to stay in a ginmill or restaurant , even if you do n’t like the piazza , so as to either finish or orphan your cocktail . This , to a New Orleanian , is sheer rage . Hence our darling " go - loving cup " culture , a consecrated bastion of NOLA life-time .
Participating in the cult-like ritual sacrifice of a watermelon
Thewatermelon sacrificehas been go on yearly at Jazz Fest for about the last 17 eld , and involves much tone and saltation ( inspired by the call of fruit seller in the French Market from year past ) . Do n’t postulate what it means or why . Just go with it .
Working out hard all winter and most of the summer in order to fit into that perfect little red dress…
… and you ’re a guy . fellow break dresses is n’t uncommon in urbane urban preferences , but it ’s still not quite the average . Unless you ’re in New Orleans , in which pillow slip , you ’d better go taking care of those love handle , because theRed Dress Runis coming up quicker than you think .
Feeling strangely uncomfortable in basements
They ’re perfectly ordinary everywhere else , but the whole " your city exists below ocean - level " thing mean that true , below - ground basements merely are n’t a thing here , so we mostly associate them with what we see in TV and in movies … so they all feel a piffling like Buffalo Bill ’s agony dungeon inSilence of the Lambs . Just creepy , humanity .
Ordering any sandwich “dressed”
hear this anywhere else and you ’re likely to get salad dressing on your turkey sandwich . While Thousand Island is great on a Reuben , what we ’re really ask for is bread , tomatoes , pickles , and mayo .
Using the word “fest” as both a noun and a verb
You are a " suppurating sore " if you " fest " at the Fest . During peak festival season , it ’s not uncommon to learn kinsfolk say things like , " Are you festing this weekend ? " " look on out for your your understructure , festers , it ’s gon na be a mudder ! " And the all too in all probability , " Ugh , this hangover might down me . Fested too hard last weekend . "
Refusing to pronounce pretty much any word in the English language as intended
Particularly street names .
Adding the letters “eaux” to any word ending in an “oh” sound
Would you wish to bring a dessert to your combeaux ? And is that for here or to geaux ?
Considering beer a typical breakfast drink
We have excellent coffee in New Orleans , and breakfast cocktail are something of a specialty ‘ snipe these parts , but beer is never off the computer menu , peculiarly on a fest weekend or during Carnival .
Swerving all over the road… while 100% sober
The pothole menace is literal , my friends . These car and soulfulness - devouring monsters abound in the Big Easy , and if you ’re not adroit at swiftly avoiding them , you ’re in for some pricey repair and tow bills . The signboard of a competent New Orleans number one wood is roll in the hay how to dish expeditiously to avoid them … the folk music going arrow - straight right on over those suckers ? Clearly impaired or distracted ; keep your distance .
Selling and/or drinking alcohol at children’s events
natal day parties , Little League games , schoolhouse fundraiser , you name it , there ’s booze there . Everywhere else in the country , they sell cookies and lemonade … but in New Orleans , it ’s highball , foxiness beer , and someone ’s uncle ’s infamous " jungle succus . " Can you imagine what would go on if they sold beer at child ' sporting event in , say , Boston ? You ’d roll up having to call in the National Guard . But if you attend a child ’s natal day celebration here , parents will get downright irate if there is n’t hooch readily usable .
Casually referring to people, often complete strangers, as “baby”
No , they ’re not hitting on you . Everyone in New Orleans is " baby " or " dawlin ' . " manly or female , young or former , it does n’t matter .
Jaywalking with panache
In the parole of one local , " New Orleanians have an innate endowment for casual jaywalking with a sure flair . I can often tell whether someone is local or not by the way they jaywalk . tourist are hesitating and nervous . New Orleanians strut . "
Affirming that being a paunchy middle-aged man with a porn-stache is the perfect body-style to join one of the city’s most celebrated dancing troupes
Long - live the610 Stompers , with their cockeyed shorts , knee socks , and well - realise beer belly . They even made it to the Macy ’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York ! As they put it themselves : " Ordinary men … extraordinary moves . "
You joined a band when you were growing up so people would think you’re cool… and it was a school marching band
The ring trumpet player might not get any play in other spot , but in NOLA being in band puts you on the route to becoming part of our cherished musical heritage , and that makes you cool as hell here . For instance : there was a kid named Troy who bulge out killing it on the French horn when he was knee - senior high to a grasshopper , and he has n’t stopped since . You might have heard of him – he goes byTrombone Shortythese days .
You play the tuba. And you carry it with you almost everywhere you go.
The opportunities for a ad-lib 2nd - line are many in the Big Easy . Best to have that tuba at the quick to position down some rich basso and rhythm .
You make peace not with flowers or candy, but with po-boys
Indeed , there is a po - boy called " the peacemaker , " usually turn back deep-fried shrimp and oyster , and sometimes bacon and cheese , always serve on a long loaf of fresh French bread . Story goes ( dating back to the late 1800s ) , bringing one of these rest home to your spouse after staying out drinking with the fella was the best manner to keep you out of the doghouse .
“Letting your car get a little dusty in the spring while the neighborhood peacock is in heat, so he doesn’t confuse his reflection for competition and dent up your car.”
– NOLA resident in the Carrollton neighborhood , regarding thePigeon Town Peacockknown as “ Mr. Pete . "
Refusing to rent or buy a home because there’s not enough closet space… for your costume supplies
Costuming is a widely enjoyed part of aliveness here . What begins as a mild costume corner filled with wig , mask , hat , and tutus can , if encourage , require an total walk - in closet of its own in due meter . This , of course , is see impressive here … and not deranged . As it would be basically anywhere else .
Loving a professional sports team so deeply that it causes diagnosable anxiety disorders requiring medication
" The Saints are down by 15 at the half against Atlanta ? meter to discontinue out the ‘ dim and atomic number 79 Xanax . ’ " Yes , we recognise that masses in places that are not New Orleans screw their sportsball squad . But there ’s something somewhat disorder about Saints devotee … in all the good ways .
Creating Facebook fan pages for police horses
Yes . This exists . Totally normal for NOLA .
Attending your own wake
When your will stipulates that your funeral will let in a malarky brunch cater by your favourite eatery , hot hot jazz , passel of cocktail and champagne , and , oh yeah , YOU , congrats : you have formally won New Orleans . Just ask the spirit of socialite Mickey Easterling , who did on the button that , and only a handful of citizenry think it was out of the ordinary . On the other side of town , there was the beloved musician " Uncle " Lionel Batiste , who " brook " at his own 2nd air dressed in his memorial tablet dance orchestra outfit , leaning against a imitation lamp Wiley Post while family and friends enjoyed beer and BBQ . Like you do .
Beer koozies for EVERYTHING
insensate beer is the unadulterated accessory for pretty much any upshot in this townsfolk . Problem is , during warmer month ( which is most of them ) , that chilled brewski can grow to room temperature startlingly fast . Thus , beer koozies are a necessity , and they ’re given out widely and freely to immortalise everything from weddings to graduations , celebrating sports teams or schools , yearly crawfish boiling point , party hideaway , corporate branding , knight bachelor / bachelorette parties , holiday … they can even be used as business cards . No jest : there is a local DUI lawyer whose business carte is a koozie , bearing the slogan , " In a mess ? Call Wes ! "
Hypervigilance on St. Patrick’s Day
People political party on St. Pat ’s almost everywhere in the USA these twenty-four hour period , but NOLA is the only place where you necessitate to have your wits firmly about you during the parade , lest you get decease in the bean by an airborne cabbage , potato , Daucus carota sativa , or corner of Irish Spring soap … among other typical throw during this holiday .
Drinking iced coffee year-round
It does n’t take a PhD to realise that the combination of heat , humidity , and chocolate civilization will of necessity lead to people drinking iced coffee . We love our iced java so much in this urban center , it does n’t even matter what the weather is like any longer . That one hebdomad when the roads ice up and you have to wrap your water pipes to keep them from immobilise over ? absolutely normal to imbibe iced coffee .
Going to a restaurant specifically for a particular server
In many places , avid eating place goers will stick with a chef when he moves from one eatery to another . In NOLA , we do that , too … but we also reserve that love and perceptiveness for local waiter . Service is as authoritative to the dining experience in New Orleans as the food for thought itself , something never recede on locals and visitant likewise .
Complimenting someone’s character by saying that they “know what it means”
It ’s not code , it ’s a song words . And if you ’re a true New Orleanian , you ’ll translate .
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