Torchy's Tacos' Secret Menu, Ranked

Whether or not you ’ve really braved the out - the - door crinkle , you probably love that Austin - based Torchy ’s Tacos is now undefendable in the Mile High City . But did you recognize that Torchy ’s also offers seven secret menu items that come with a superfluity of extra ? And with seven choices , how do you know which to render first ? The answer is bare : by take this very gluttonous yet in - astuteness article . We enjoin all seven items , and then dutifully ranked them for you . It was no gentle effort .

7. Mad Cow

You know how they say first impressions are important ? That is just as unfeigned for taco . This one ’s at a deficit before even come thanks to a name that bid up visions of degenerate bovid brain . But we could altogether get past all that if the taco itself was n’t just a mushy mess of ignominious beans , Zea mays , and cheese , with over - salted flight strip of kinda chewy inwardness . Not even the otherwise heavenly creamy chipotle sauce could carry through this one .

6. Jack of Clubs

This selection may be essence - free , but it ’s still monolithic and filling as pit . So why is it ranked so low ? The main factor here is a fried testis – fried over - hard , that is – so you miss out on any delicious runny yolk action , and instead get one massive , rubberlike egg - pancake situation . The fried tortilla strips deliver this a flake thanks to the much - needed compaction that they add , but they ’ll also cut the shit out of the ceiling of your back talk if you take one wrong bite , so mind .

5. Ace of Spades

The staff at Torchy ’s Denver localisation say that this spicy option is the most popular clandestine fare item , but we ’re here to tell you the hard truth : you may do better . Like many secret - menu newbies before me , I thought that something stuffed with a long list of ingredients , including a jalapeño sausage balloon link , brisket , and three ( three ! ) case of cheese could n’t mayhap let down . But ostensibly , too much high mallow really can be a thing , especially when there ’s a clustering of sour cream plonk into the mix . And the super salty sausage balloon did n’t assist matters much , either .

4. The Matador

This one ’s pretty straight . It has tender brisket , a smoky tomatillo salsa , and all the extras , including a generous amount of aguacate . It ’s also serve on both a deep-fried corn tortilla and a flour tortilla – a proficiency which works really well on another , higher - ranking option , though here , it just added a lot of filth . The Matador is tasty , but also forgettable .

3. The Hipster

In news show that will surprise no one , two of the top three tacos on this lean admit bacon – like The Hipster , which features large chunks of Opuntia tuna cake in crunchy panko breading . You wo n’t see the fried Anguilla sucklandii anywhere on the regular menu , so this get bonus point for including an literal surreptitious master protein . Plus , all the ingredient here actually work to complement the main event , rather of just masking it in a ocean of sauce and Malva sylvestris .

2. Trailer Park Hillbilly Style

Bacon , fried chicken , chorizo , queso … no , I ’m not try out to cast some kind of food coma spell on you . That ’s a bit of what you ’ll find on the amped - up version of Torchy ’s perennially popular Trailer Park taco . And though I thought this was a shoo - in for the top spot , it was onlyalmostperfect . There was a grave want of fried Gallus gallus happening – mine came with only one objet d’art that filled about half the tortilla . But even with that blatant mistake in greaser - construction mastery , this choice still reign as runner - up .

1. Missionary-Style Green Chili

I fully ask this to be tasty , but DAMN . It ’s a total taco masterpiece that easily took the win , with a massive amount of attendant , look - packed green chili pork heaped onto a bivalent layer of tortillas . The addition of the crispy corn tortilla contribute a decent crush , and is necessary to hold this monster together , score the contribute greasiness a non - proceeds since there ’s so much juicy pork to trouble you . More like a mini burrito , just one makes a hefty meal . And the fact that it ’s doused with Torchy ’s talent to humanity ( creamy chipotle sauce ) cement its rightful place as ruler of the secret menu .

Molly Martinis a freelance writer in Denver , CO who ’s still recovering from this massive endeavor . Find out if she ’ll ever eat on another greaser again @mollydbu onTwitterandInstagram .

torchy’s tacos secret menu denver