receive back toOff the Menu , where we bring you the best and strangest food history from my email inbox . This week , we ’ve got our old dearie : stories of the most monstrous customers in eatery history . As always , these are real emails from real readers , though gens have been convert .
“Free” has its limits
" My husband and I used to frequent a costa restaurant in our neighborhood . The stead had two independent surface area : the dining way and the bar . Beside the bar itself there were a bunch of modest high - top table for drinkers . Interestingly , the bar also had self - service appetizers , including mac & cheese .
" One busybodied dark , we were in the legal community light at a high - top , and we understand a twosome swoop in and seat themselves at one of the booth that had just become vacant . The stewardess came in with a twosome to be induct and was complicate to find someone already there . There were apologia and they scurried out , followed by some conversation among servers and the hostess , with nods at the couplet . But they must have decide it was n’t worth making a fuss over , and the self - seating couple rest .
" The twosome regularize the character of drinks you order when you ’re too garish to devote for alcohol , then proceeded to scourge the appetizer , coming back with multiple small plates heap richly with everything they could outfit . At one point they as if by magic procured dinner - sized crustal plate and fare back to the mesa with those plates heaping with mac & cheese – heaping .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
" During all this , the host had total back several times , asking if they were quick to come out their order , or if they wanted more swallow . Each time , they waved her off . After multiple rounds of heaping plates of mac & cheese punctuated by crackers and crudités , they finally tell the server , ' We ’re done , just bring us the check . '
" The waitress tried to explain that , well , you took up one of our dinner tables during a busy time , and you ca n’t just sit down here and order nothing . sure as shooting , the food was free , but it was mean as a pre - dinner appetizer or a bar snack while drinking .
" The couple indicate out that they ’d order drinks and that the appetizers were loose . A manager come over and said yes , the food is free as appetizers , but it ’s not a costless dinner party buffet . Either the duo could place entrees and the restaurant would mirthfully pack them to go , or they ’d charge them for two mac & cheese dinners .
" The couple decided they were n’t about to pay for their free mac & cheese , so they enjoin entree to go . They patiently hold back for them to go far , pay up the baulk … and then went back for more plate of mac & cheese .
" I ’m surprised there was any left wing – in the county . " –Dana Corcoran
Mother does not like her soup hot
" While we were in in high spirits school , my sis waited tables at a local sushi eatery . It seemed like it would have been a good first job – the berth was really popular with local anesthetic , the food was neat , the direction did n’t seem too insane .
" Having had the soup at this place , I can evidence that while it is cheerily hot , it is not Lava Soup . "
" One Saturday night , they were super slammed , every section was compact , and while taking a full tray out to the dining way , someone find my sister and she accidentally sloshed some miso soup onto a client . It was jolly unsound – it was an older span and they were trim up for a Nox out , so it got all over her dress , and my sister immediately started justify and give her napkins . My agreement was that the lady with soup on her was pretty dainty about it . Unfortunately , her crazy - nates husband went absolutely ballistic . He started scream about how she was a careless idiot , that his wife was probably bite , that she ruin their night .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
" He get so loud that other tables started staring at my poor sister , who basically just had to apologise through all this while help his wife mop soup off her garb . They ended up storming out , not even wait for a manager to settle their check . Since her surgical incision was still slammed , sis had to chin up and keep running her ass off for the other table , who were fortunately pretty nice to her after witnessing the utmost public chagrin .
" Forty minutes later , the hostess call her up to the stand , enunciate she had a speech sound call ( ordinarily that mean a family member had an emergency or something ) . It was husband , calling from the hospital , where he had rushed his wife because he was worried the ' George Burns ' could have caused sum palpitations . He had gotten her name off her name tag , called the host stand , and want to in person chew her out again before asking for the manager , saying he was going to sue her , process the eating house , and ' shut this whole goddamn place down and put you all out of piece of work . ' Having had the soup at this position , I can attest that while it is enjoyably hot , it is not Lava Soup .
" My babe handed off the earphone , pass to the back , and split into tears . She was licitly worried she was going to get fired for assaulting a guest with soup . fortuitously , the managing director decided the guy was a nutjob and not worth paying tending to . " –Lena Ramsey
The dreaded parsley
" I was with a few acquaintance of mine in townspeople and we adjudicate to get some shawarma . A friend and I ordered them for everyone , since the place where you could queue up to get them was somewhat small and we did n’t desire to crowd it . One of the people in our group said she desire hers sweet and with all the duplicate ( stuff and nonsense like tomatoes , kettle of fish , diced cabbage , and squeeze like that ) , and my friend was the one who ordered it . We got everyone ’s stuff and nonsense and sat down to wipe out .
" It was at that compass point that we light upon the bane of her existence , the horrid antagonist of her culinary gustation , the parade pooper of gastronomic concept : parsley .
" indisputable , not everyone is a fan of Petroselinum crispum , but she was so infuriated at its unwelcome presence … I chewed my solid food in embarrassed slow motion as she picked the bit of Petroselinum crispum from her intellectual nourishment , stacked them in a pyramid of disgust and hate on a little napkin , and mumbled angrily to herself .
" My foiling presently turn to abject horror as she put down the rest of her food on the tray , direct the table napkin from it like she was handling an demon ’s diaper boom , went to the place where we ordered the food ( and where it was also prepared ) , planted the diaper on the sideboard ( having some of it fall over the counter and into one of the salad trays ) , and go forward to call on the carpet some random guy there ( I ’m middling sure it was n’t the one who in reality train it ) about how perfectly dismaying this video display of inedibility was .
" As I sheepishly consumed my nutrient , trying not to make any subsequent eye contact with her , all I could do was seek to think just what was going on inside the mind of that poor guy she bust at . " –Tim Anders
Cue WWIII
" Last weekend was super busy – the tiny kin - prevail bistro where I work was slammed for three 24-hour interval solid with revelers attending a local music fete . The atmospheric condition was great , so alongside our usual diners , we had loads of tourists and topical anesthetic shoot advantage of the weather and entertainment to toast outdoors in the square . It was nice , everyone was in a good temper , the Dominicus was shining , and by close on Sunday we had sell out of everything except measure condiment . All in all a peachy weekend . Literally HUNDREDS of felicitous client .
" Until this lot showed up .
" It was at this breaker point I could n’t hold my natural language . I stick on on a fake smiling and say tongue-in-cheek , ' Well , you know , the food could n’t have been that bad . You clean your plates ! ' Cue WWIII . "
" When I run low to take their deglutition order , the mother desire a gin rummy & tonic , which we did n’t currently have , and she act like I had strangle her kitten when I politely explained we had sold out and why . In the end she ordered a bottle of wine instead . When the barman took her wine down in an icing bucketful , she sound off that it was n’t cool enough – it had been in the fridge for nigh an hr , but as I say , stock turnover was extremely high that weekend and yeah , it was n’t as cold as normal , but it was still properly cool down .
" The mixologist explain why it was n’t as cold as usual and extend to take it away and put it in the freezer for a while , the mother refused , saying that we should be keeping our alcohol for ' proper ' ( whatever that intend ) customers and drank it anyway . She then decided the seat were ' too diffuse ' to be comfortable and the manager had to protrude transfer furniture around for her . All in all exactly as anticipate from previous encounters .
" It did n’t stop there . They were quiet during the fledgeling , but they were only saving their venom up for the chief course . They ordered three steak and a fish especial as entrees . When I took their side out to them , they were wrong . Again , you ’d think I ’d killed a darling pet , they were so incensed by the mix - up . I apologized , take back the position to the kitchen , and informed them the correct slope would be with them in five minute . When I render with fresh sides five instant afterward , I was berated again , both parents cry at me about how it was ' all ruined ! ' They started bitching about their steaks being cooked incorrectly . I do n’t heed customer complaining – if you ’re paying for a meal it should be done right – but their attitude , the entitlement , the path they speak to me … they were seriously get to me . So I turned them over to my adorable manager before I state something I regretted .
" The handler offer them four entirely new meals cooked from scratch . They refused . The manager took their master courses off the bill ( the four most expensive main course on the menu , coincidentally ) . They accepted . We go to remove the ' ruined ' meal from the tabular array and they would n’t let us . They proceeded to houseclean their plates . They almost solve them . There was n’t a combat of food leave , bar the pelt from the father ’s Pisces the Fishes special . Not a veggie , not a potato , not even a bit of garnish .
" As I was clearing the table , the beginner asked to see the dessert menu . When I left the plates in the kitchen our chef ( who is also the owner ) asked me to secern them that she ’d be happy to come out and jaw to them about the food for thought if they wish – so I relayed this offer when I survive back with the dessert menus . ' Oh no , ' order Papa FFH smugly , ' we screen it out with the manageress . ' He then started tick off on his finger’s breadth what he was getting for free and what he was paying for . He was practically glowing , he was so delighted with himself .
" It was at this point I could n’t have my tongue . I plastered on a fake grin and said facetiously , ' Well , you know , the food for thought could n’t have been that bad . You clean your plates ! '
" Cue WWIII .
" The mother virtually lost her mind at this ( never mind how rude she ’d been to every member of staff who came near her all evening ) and cry at me across the restaurant to ' FUCK OFF ! ' It was loud enough that the whole restaurant get word . The table behind her ( a lovely couple ) had been cringe at their behavior all eventide anyway , and they nearly sink into the floor with embarrassment at this breaker point . So I get laid off . The father came to find the manager and complained about me before THROWING the money still owe on the bill ( very little after they ’d been comped their mains ) at her and they departed in a strop , sans dessert . evidently they did n’t angle , but the table who sat behind them left a tip that was larger than their actual invoice . I can only take out of bold superfluity at their behavior . give thanks you , prissy citizenry on mesa 10 !
" I found out later the father is a local radio personality and not brusk of money . " –Cathy McNamara
I don’t think you’re supposed to take those with you
" So my ally / Colorado - worker and I took an Extended Lunch Friday and went to Olive Garden . We were sitting there talking about work , and four old folks walked in . Late seventy , I would guess . Immediately , one of the humans starts squawk around , loudly , about the weather . It was January in Northeast Ohio , so it is predictably cold . He then takes a phone call , in the corner , near another board , and is blackguard the entire phone call . As far as he ’s touch on , he ’s the only one in the eating place .
" Finally , he sits down and they have a comparatively normal conversation . They ’ve been there for 10 minutes , and this is the first time this guy has n’t hollo . The waiter comes over and asks what they would like to drink . He result , and comes back with the largest glass of milk I have ever have seen . Humongous . He reach it to the Phone - Screaming Weather Grouser , who glare at him .
" So then he ’s quick to order . They order the soup , salad , and breadsticks deal with the all - you - can - eat on soup or whatever . He demands that the bowl be full . ' I like a deal of soup . Last meter , there was only about THIS MUCH soup in the bowl . I wish a lot of soup , ' he says while holding his index finger’s breadth and thumb a few inch apart . This is , in fact , a stack of soup to ask for . The server responds with , ' Well , it ’s all portioned out , so … but it is all - you - can - corrode , so I can just bring you more . ' This seems to do for the old man , as he drop the issue .
" The salad , as is customary , comes out first . ' Can I have ranch ? ' the honest-to-god man asks . ' Well , the salad is already plume , do you require a side of ranch ? ' the server respond . ' No . I need a new salad . With ranch . But leave this for these folk , ' the Old Man demands , motion towards his companions . The waiter excuse that he ca n’t , since they did n’t ordain salad . erstwhile man settles for a side of ranch .
" Then the following exchange takes place .
" server : OK , guy . I can take those bill of fare and bring your meals out .
" Old Man : No . I ’m going to take this with me .
" Waiter : You ’re going to take the carte du jour with you ? Home ? Alright .
" He drinks his milk , uses his ranch , and grouse around a piece longer . The whole time with his carte du jour ( souvenir ? ) on the flooring next to his prat . " –Jay Doherty
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