For the retiring three seasons , Silicon Valley ’s Jared ( Zach Woods ) , the head of business development at Pied Piper , has provided us with muckle of great scheme peak and caper at his expense . After cringe - laughing at the billionth out - of - context item about his upbringing , we wanted to get to the bottom of his wiped out past times .
We carefully reviewed every hint Jared has dropped , and a few concrete details formed a sketch of a shock child turn consecrated business sector developer . Using Woods ' audience and pot ofValleydialogue , we filled in the gap of his backstory . Below , re - meet Donald " Jared " Dunn ( reasonable warning : shit suffer disconsolate ) .
His early life involved Child Protective Services
As Jared explain to Erlich in Season 3 , his first CPS worker never located his birth credential . ( Ironically , in the absence of official documentation , there ’s a lowly probability that his name could actually be Jared . ) It ’s unclear where he was born or how sometime he is , though he has specified familiarity with California ’s CPSon the Pied Piper blog .
small information exists about Jared ’s biologic parent , make unnecessary for the fact that his dad abandoned him and his family for a reserves in the Ozarks . Woods has said of developing the quality that he believes Jared has beenpassed around the surrogate care system of rules , or has " belong through a serial publication of really striking thing . "
" We were always be after our big flight . "
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arise up , Jared ’s relationship with his relatives and foster guardians was marked with abuse and neglect . His best friends were Winnie , a stuffed animal made out of a Ziploc bag , old paper , and marker , and an notional Harriet Tubman . " We were always planning our bad relief valve , " he has said of the latter . He make both to meet his emotional needs , and to make up for a lack of passion and connectedness .
Jared has referred to taunt from his auntie and uncle often , so they might have put up him while he suffered from digestive issues that remain today . His uncle used to say that Jared ’s " ghost - like features " made him attend like " a Virgo that ’s been starved to death , " and people thought Jared had a " emaciate disease because of [ his ] slender skeletal system . " In Season 3 , Jared ruin everyone ’s repast because he has too many dietary restrictions to leave a breakfast surprisal to chance . Plus , we know he " squander money at the butthole MD " and his aunt anticipate him " glasshole " to underscore the fragility of his arse .
Jared ’s functionary Pied Piper bio credits a serial of " largely well - mean " foster parent with maneuver him in the right focal point , so he was taken from his aunt and uncle at some point – though foster caution was n’t much better . On the web log , Jared wrote that helived in dome and semi - inclose porch , " which I pay for with endless , backbreaking chores and things no youngster should see . " His willingness to log Z’s with the rats in Erlich ’s garage is not just validation of his resilience but evidence of a familiarity with doing so in the past tense . The Season 3 blood " I have n’t log Z’s in a box seat in years " should come as no surprise .
Whenever he attempts to jest around with his colleagues , Jared miss the fall guy and often citation incest and expiry . Through Seasons 2 and 3 , Jared uncover that he has always want to be part of a suicide pact and has seen a raw dead soul .
He was bullied through childhood but really found himself in college
A gangling minor who sported braces and then a retainer , Jared learned rule book smartness and selection acquirement in his formative years . Thanks to the unpredictability of the foster care organisation , he bounced between primary and high schools , where he was more democratic with Dumpster and clenched fist than with his match – which would not storm his current co - workers . For example , he knows that if you flinch , the pain will never end . " If you keep screaming your name , " he secern Richard in Season 1 , " it force the assailant to recognize you as a homo . " And did people mess with his tiffin and his lunch money ? You bet . accord to Jared , thirst is the good sauce .
Judy Blume was a favorite of the untested scholastic . Woods told BuzzFeedthat Jared probably would have likedAre You There God ? It ’s Me , Margaret . " In my head I find like he loves old unassailable women , " he say . " Like , I always thought his first crushed leather was , like , Anne Frank . "
Jared matriculated at Vassar College , a broad arts school in Poughkeepsie , New York , where he study economics and let on a love for political documentary film films . " During those happiest of old age , " read his Pied Piper bio , " he sang second countertenor with the Joyce Carol Notes A Cappella Confrontation and was both coxswain for Women ’s Heavyweight Crew and Colorado - beginner of Take Back Take Back the Night . "
His career would make most millennials jealous
After graduate with a B.A. in econ , Jared moved back to California to work stints at Google and with Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi . He found a more permanent burst with Hooli , the place " Donald " became " Jared . " On day one , Hooli CEO Gavin Belson call Jared the untimely name . It adhere .
At Hooli , Jared hone his business development skill solidification , working as one of Gavin ’s right - hired hand men . He ’s a acute start - up asset , especially when it comes to calculate burn rates and budgets . He also always has his finger on the pulse of tech news . Although he had a not bad line of work at Hooli – a fat remuneration , stock choice , on trail to be a senior VP – Jared likened the Google stand - in to an scurrilous better half . The Hooli scathe are so real , Jared subconsciously booby - traps his new workplaces with corporate resourcefulness ( the SWOT matrix and the Scrum board ) and keep on his old nickname .
AsWoods told Gold Derby , Jared functioned as a Pinocchio - like creature at Hooli . He awakens and becomes slightly more " real " when he gather Richard Hendricks and the Pied Piper team . " You pulled me out of that life , and you impart me hope and a sense of ego - worth , " Jared tells Richard in Season 2 . " Like Richard Gere did to Julia Roberts inPretty Woman . Every day here has been like that shopping - fling panorama . I ’m putting on chapeau ! "
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At Pied Piper , Jared do as read/write head of business organization development , a position that permit him to scarf up the crumbs of attention and human interaction he was , until this breaker point , never give . No matter where he goes in lifetime , however , one affair will always be the same : he ’s BYOC .
He’s financially stable
Despite " crushing debt " from college , Jared is far more moneyed than the rest of the Pied Piper team . He own a great condominium , which he Airbnb’d out to cover his mortgage after he cut his own earnings at Pied Piper . And those earlier gigs at Google ( average line operations salary:$126,303 ) and Hooli were likely very moneymaking . ( Not to mention all the side income from organize estate sales for his piles of elderly friends . ) Hooli might have select away some of his stock when he quit , but Jared is definitely a rescuer , not a spender .
He’s a ladies man
Jared may not have the ceremonious leading - mankind looks of , say , a Pakistani Denzel , but as Russ Hanneman points out in Season 2 , Jared is the cat in the house doing all the fucking . Partners are in all likelihood attracted to his strong listening skills , emotional sensitivity , and financial and life history success , or mayhap they also like to discuss controversial points in German chronicle , birdwatching , and documentaries .
This season , inspired by Richard ’s attempts at dating , Jared proves his skills by trail up with Carol ( who also call off him Jared ) , and offscreen , Myriam , Sylvia , and Samantha . But he wo n’t osculate and order – the only detail he share is that he ’s been in love double . To share any other intimate item , he says , would be " untoward . "
Although Jared shows no sign of settling down right now , he still fantasize about it . The lothario is a big fan of Bill Gates ' Lanai wedding . " He charter every helicopter on the Hawaiian islands so that paparazzi could n’t use them to vaporize over , " he recall . " It was a positivist , because now you may imagine that wedding however you want . "
He’s (probably) not a Nazi
Sleep - challenged Jared sometimes break out into aggressive German flare-up . cyberspace sleuths have offered various rendering of the cryptic susurration , which mention stealth throat - slice and locking someone in a cage . These night terrors , combined with Hitler quotes ( " Arbeit macht frei " ) and factoid ( he played the bassoon ) shared in the first two seasons , have conduct some Redditors to speculate about Nazist andBoys from Brazil - esque possibility .
In an interview with Huffington Post , however , Woods close down such thinking . " I think there ’s a psychological affair there , " Woods said . " There ’s some Jungian estimate of the shadower self , or something , where if there ’s no outlet for the darker parts of your personalities in your waking biography , then it comes out in your subconscious mind , in your dream . " So rest assured that Jared wo n’t act on these urges . As he says in Season 2 , " I would n’t know how to [ rattle anyone ] . "
You want him on your trivia team
Thanks to eclectic cultural taste and at least one pit birding trip ( " It ’s like when somebody says they want to go birding with you , but really they just want to get you alone in the Wood so they can take your binoculars " ) , Jared would have the answers to most history- , ornithological- , and medicine - base questions . Plus , he enjoysLooney Tunes , most Audrey Hepburn and Julia Roberts movies , Stieg Larsson book , poesy , and Hitler’sThe Triumph of Will . His euphony tastes range from Cypress Hill to Christopher Cross – specially the song " Sailing , " which he used to keep himself sane while deposit overseas in Peter Gregory ’s ego - drive car . He can also flatten knowledge on the topics of Herb Cohen , the evolution of pornography , amyl nitrate , Richard Meinertzhagen , and monger urine . Just do n’t call for him about Schrödinger ’s cat .
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