We want some of our favorite bartender – who are as full of snark as they are good luck charm – to tell us how they really feel . So we gave each of them a John Barleycorn - related parole and require them to spout off the first thing that come to mind . coddler : if you consecrate a buttery nipple , they will make fun of you . But not until you ’re out the door .
Fireball
" Grecian life"-Phil Clark , BRABOHead Bartender
" Rookie"-Trevor Frye , Dram & GrainCo - founder & Jack RoseBeverage Director
" Still?"-Rico Wisner , TicoBartender
Laura Hayes/Thrillist
" Make it stop"-Christine Kim , The RiggsbyandTicoLead Bartender
" How about Overholt?"-Theo Rutherford , MindfulRestaurants Beverage Director
Tinder
" Better than TV"-Phil Clark , Brabo Head Bartender
" I ’m on Bumble . * wave hand emoji*"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" Yaaaas , queen"-Allison Lane , Compass Rose Bartender
Flickr/Bex Walton
" Awkward silence"-Parker Girard , Barrel Bar Manager
" Hug or handshake?"-Eddie Kim , The Partisan Bartender & Bar Otsukare Co - founding father
Buttery nipple
" Penis - shaped political party favors"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" WTF . Butter beer"-Caroline Blundell , Ripple General Manager
" Taylor Swift"-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
santypan/Shutterstock
" In bed only"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" Two , please!"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
Speakeasy
" You are licensed"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" Ambivalence"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
" Better be hidden"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
Jesus Cervantes/Shutterstock
" Is it 2006?"-Parker Girard , Barrel Bar Manager
" Mustaches & vests"-Caroline Blundell , Ripple General Manager
Vodka
" Easy enough"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
" Still has calories … “-Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
" Blank canvas”-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - laminitis & Jack Rose Beverage Director
Milkos/Shutterstock
" Flavorless , odorless , useless"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" Rose Kennedy"-Allison Lane , Compass Rose Bartender
Snapping (as in, your fingers to get the bartender’s attention, not Snapchat)
" Please don’t"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director
" For a cappella"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
" Last in queue"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
Brent Hofacker/Shutterstock
" Not your dog"-Rico Wisner , Tico Bartender
Making a Murderer - Carlie Steiner , Stir Bartending Co. Centennial State - owner
Mojito
" Liquid air - conditioning"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" With pleasure"-Phil Clark , Brabo Head Bartender
" Gringo"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
cdrin/Shutterstock
" Yes , please"-Parker Girard , Barrel Bar Manager
" Stress reliever"-Christine Kim , The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Mixologist
" Does n’t equal bartender"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" I ’d favour cocktologist"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" Pretentious"-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - father & Jack Rose Beverage Director
Tico DC
" Astrologist"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
" cool than me"-Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
Barrel-aged
" Like playing the waiting game while handcuffed to a bed"-Christine Kim , The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
" play out"-Phil Clark , Brabo Head Bartender
" Is that legal?"-Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
Laurin Rinder/Shutterstock
" I ’ve get wood"-Eddie Kim , The Partisan Bartender & Bar Otsukare Co - founder
" Whiskey not cocktails"-Carlie Steiner , Stir Bartending Co. Co - owner
“Surprise me”
" I care a challenge"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director
" I ’ll show off"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
" Malört shots"-Parker Girard , Barrel Bar Manager
" Bourbon it is"-Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
" pet game"-Carlie Steiner , Stir Bartending Co. Colorado - owner
Old Fashioned
" No wooly-minded fruit!"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director"Tried + true"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" Over the pants"-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
" Bourbon or rye?"-Parker Girard , Barrel Bar Manager
" modernistic day cosmo"-Christine Kim , The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Craft cocktails
" Fancy ice"-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
" impressment me"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director
" structure newspaper , safety scissors + Elmer ’s Glue"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" Constantly improving"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
" Redundant"-Parker Girard , Barrel Bar Manager and Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
Last Call
" In everyone ’s respectable interest"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director
" Ehhh , that ’s flexible"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" Finish line"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
" Just got here"-Rico Wisner , Tico Bartender
" Shots!"-Caroline Blundell , Ripple General Manager
Hand-crafted
" The ice too?"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" No shit"-Phil Clark , Brabo Head Bartender
" It well be"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
" Foot - crafted"-Rico Wisner , Tico Bartender
" Up - charge$$$"-Christine Kim , The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Red Bull
" Cough syrup"-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
" Heart attack"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director
" Lemme see ID"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" Casino trading floor only"-Phil Clark , Brabo Head Bartender
" Diarrhea"-Allison Lane , Compass Rose Bartender
Mezcal
" Mmm , Mexican smoke"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" Nectar of the gods"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" Heaven"-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
" Next large thing"-Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
" bury the worm"-Eddie Kim , The Partisan Bartender & Bar Otsukare Co - founder
New Year’s Eve
" Rent . pay . Holla . “-Allison Lane , Compass Rose Bartender
" Precedes Dryuary ( Boo!)"-Chris Hassaan Francke , The Green Zone Owner
" No . Celebrate always . “-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
" Bubbles are delicious”-Theo Rutherford , Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
" Amateur hour”-Will Witherow , Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager , Rico Wisner , Tico Bartender , and Christine Kim , The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Beertails
" Under - appreciated"-Trevor Frye , Dram & Grain Co - founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
" New Saturday morning cartoon?"-Megan Barnes , Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
" Campari / IPA , yum"-Nick Farrell , Iron Gate Bartender
" Should not happen"-Carlie Steiner , Stir Bartending Co. Centennial State - owner
" Yes , please"-Dave Delaplaine , Roofers Union Beer Director
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