We New Yorkers obviously are n’t shy about saying what we need , whenever we want ( much to the displeasure of those not from here ) . We ’ll blatantly ask you how much you bear for your apartment , and readily extend up the intricate details of our sex life story and the black mold growing in our showers – but a lot of the meter , what we say and what we really mean are totally dissimilar things . Which is why we created this translation guide – so next clip someone say , “ It ’s like Uber but for fail Tinder dates and pug owners , ” you ’ll cognize what they REALLY think ( in all likelihood ) .
“I should probably stay in and cook tonight.”
version : I’d rather sit on my couch and order $ 55 Charles Frederick Worth of Seamless than go to your 16 - someone tapas dinner party where I will have to fight for food that I ’ll end up paying $ 80 for .
“I live in East Williamsburg.”
rendering : I survive in deep Bushwick .
“I live in Greenpoint.”
Translation : I survive in Queens .
“I live on the border between X and Y Brooklyn neighborhoods.”
displacement : I truly have no estimate what vicinity I dwell in .
“You’re probably not even from here.”
interlingual rendition : I’m probably not even from here .
“We’re right off the train, you should come visit.”
Translation : The nearest caravan stoppage is technically in another borough .
“I was born here!”
rendering : I am a very insecure individual who believe the random chance that my mammy shot me out in a special zip codification makes me a special magic person with undeniable insight into a metropolis of 8 million people .
“It’s a great little place.”
Translation : I be in a reborn washer / dryer in a converted shoe closet in a born-again 7/18ths sleeping accommodation .
“I’m going out east this weekend.”
Translation : I’m locomote to the Hamptons , but for some completely insane reason I feel like this makes me sound significantly less pretentious .
“You have a washer/dryer?”
transformation : Marry me .
“You have a dishwasher?”
“Times Square just isn’t the same… ”
transformation : I’m 22 and sawTheLion Kingon Broadway when I was 10 and it was pretty rad .
“This person/that place/that thing is for hipsters.”
Translation : I call anything I do n’t wish “ hipster , ” and I am a bucket head with pitiable vocabulary skills .
“Did you read that thing in theNew Yorker?”
rendering : I have opinions and oh boy are you about to listen them .
“The neighborhood is just not the same anymore.”
Translation : I moved here three week ago and I ’m probably the precise kind of person responsible for the opinion I am attempt to express .
“That’s notrealBrooklyn”
Translation : I’m not old enough to be intimate what " genuine Brooklyn " stand for .
“The rent is too damn high.”
transformation : I have no idea that Jimmy McMillan endorsed Donald Trump .
“Let’s get drinks soon”
Translation : I attend forwards to sending an email a month from now saying “ allow ’s get drinks soon ” to you , as well as receiving a reply from you that says “ Yeah , let ’s ! ” And never pay back drinks .
“This apartment is no-fee!”
version : There most in spades is a fee , and also this apartment does n’t exist and I ’m going to show you something else that has none of the things I advertise .
“I’m an actor.”
Translation : I’m a server .
“I’m a writer.”
“I’m a musician.”
“I’m a waiter.”
Translation : I in reality make a pretty near support … manner better than you would expect and likely more than a circle of corporate nerds who put in like 80 hours a week staring at Excel pattern .
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Jesse Brukmanwas born in Beth Israel hospital sometime in the eighties and keep to live here now . you could angrily disagree with him viaTwitter .
Shutterstock / Jennifer Bui/Thrillist
Lauri Patterson/Thrillist
Andrew Zimmer/Thrillist
Flickr/chrisschoenbohm
Flickr/severalseconds
Jacob Lund/Shutterstock
