Believe it or not , there ’s more to master Austin ’s dialect than adopting the Son “ y’ all ” and spill the beans with a mouth full of tacos as you kick about traffic , rent hikes , and interference ordination . In all actuality , Austiniteis really a language all its own , and behind every seemingly unobjectionable sentence , well , there ’s often a whole stack of bullsh … subtext , there ’s a whole lot ofsubtext . So to help you voyage these Byzantine colloquial waters , here ’s a little translation template .
“We’ve gotten really into AcroYoga lately.”
version : We’re one of those span doing freaky stuff at the park , and we make out what you ’re mean : we have tried this in the bedroom . ( P.S. : Please disregard the fateful eye – that ’s where I fall on his face . )
“Is there a cover?”
displacement : Please tell me now if I need to get John Cash back when grease one’s palms gum and cigarette at the gas pedal place so I do n’t get reamed by a $ 6 surcharge at a Red River ATM .
“I’m not looking for anything serious at the moment.”
Translation : I will be swiping until I ’m 60 .
“I guess we’re going to Dirty.” [In the most resigned tone imaginable]
Translation : I have friends visiting from out of Ithiel Town and am therefore obligated to take them to Sixth St for cheap shots , subpar pizza , the realisation ofReal World : Austindreams at Dizzy Rooster and – calculate on the amount of $ 5 liquor pitchers eat at Shakespeare ’s – maybe some mechanically skillful bull’s eye endeavor at Trophy Club . There is a 72 - hour katzenjammer in my future tense .
“Have you registered to vote?”
Translation : You seriously take to vote . Or maybe move .
“Set times?”
Translation : I call for to have a go at it how long I can drink for cheap atSide Barwithout escape the headliner I bought the ticket to see .
“(S)he’s a rescue.”
Translation : Let me clear up this up onwards of fourth dimension so you do n’t launch into an # adoptdontshop spiel while our bounder sniff each other ’s butts at Yard Bar . Also , we should probably hook up .
“It’s fucking hot.”
Translation : gravely … it ’s fucking raging .
“I can’t wait ‘til summer."
Translation : I temporarily forget how fucking hot summertime is .
“How long have you lived in Austin?”
Translation : I’m pretty sure I moved here before you , and I need to assert my superiority .
“Running late – 35* is slammed. Be there soon!”
Translation : I have n’t technically left my apartment yet – and I ’m probably not even be have on pants – but whether I ’m telling you this at 3 am or 3 pm , there ’s no way in hell you could dispute it , because it ’s definitely dead on target . ( * MoPac may be substituted for 35 when commodious . )
“Wyd tonight??”
Translation : I sent this text to 25 people search for the Saturday - night holy grail : something playfulness , free , and within biking distance . There is a four - percent chance you ’ll actually see me or hear from me at any point this evening .
“Let’s see a movie.”
Translation : I require to sit in the dark , eat massive amount of food , and drink beer without talking to anyone , and doing it at Alamo alternatively of at home on a Friday dark means it ’s not sad , it ’s societal !
“(Insert music festival here) dates announced!”
Translation : Rainout and/or junk storm dates announced !
“I’m not even going to ACL this year.”
Translation : I’m going to persistently crab about the lineup and crowds for the five month head up to ACL and then cave the workweek before and buy a watchband off Craigslist because FOMO is right smart bad than any and all fete pitfalls .
“Do I have to dress up?”
Translation : This is your only probability to recount me if Vans or toss - flops are n’t satisfactory for this issue … in which fount I ’ll put on a slightly nicer pair of Vans or flip - flops .
“I think I know that guy.”
displacement : Not certain if I ’ve rival with that guy on Tinder or he just looks exactly the same as every other bearded bro in Austin .
“It’s so nice out. Let’s do something outside!”
displacement : permit ’s go drink on a terrace .
“What are you doing Tuesday?”
Translation : My band is play a gig at this coffee shop class that in no world meets the acoustical or atmospherical requirements to qualify as a tangible euphony venue . Please amount because last time it was just four multitude on laptops who did n’t even take their headphones out and a ponytailed barista who looked really besotted about intermit his Pandora .
“Is there parking?”
interlingual rendition : I’m not go to do laps around Downtown for 45 minutes looking for a parking spot , and I ’m certain as hell not go to pay to valet , so tell me now so I can courteously bail on plans onward of sentence .
“#bartonsprings #bartonsprung #summer #Austin #ATX #nofilter #blessed”
Translation : I spent two hours on a Saturday afternoon waiting in line and sweating balls while being surrounded by elbow room too many kids and drinking beer out of a Big Gulp cup so I could get this obligatory seasonal Instagram post . I wo n’t be back until it ’s time to do this again next summertime . ( And fine , I altogether used a filter . )
“So, you’resurethis is vegan?”
rendering : I know you ’ve catch a greenish Little Phoebe or a leaf or whatever designated icon next to this fare particular and that this is Austin where people really know what the word vegan substance , but we ’re still go in a country that celebrate top out bacon with more bacon so I really need some verbal check with accompanying eye striking here . If it turns out this is n’t vegan , I will stab you with this salad ramification .. or more likely only tip 15 % and write a really disappointed Yelp reassessment .
“What’s your well?”
transformation : I’m all going to order the well , but I ’m going to at least make I ’m consider otherwise . Also , please say Tito ’s .
“Should we take a pedicab?”
version : My infantry are killing me . Please tell me you have cash .
“Austin has changed so much.”
Translation : In terms of relatable conversation topics , we both live this is basically the equivalent of speak about the weather , so permit ’s just relish some mutually psychotherapeutic , at - this - point - autopilot sound off about condo , crowds , Californians , and other cliché ways that Austin just is n’t the same , maaaaan .
“It’s way up north.”
Translation : It ’s northward of wherever I live . Which , for the record , is n’t “ up north . ”
“Brunch?”
Translation : I’m well cognisant that it ’s 3 autopsy but I ca n’t put eight mimosas or hashtag Sunday Funday at “ luncheon . ” So … brunch ?
“I’m in line at Franklin.”
Translation : the great unwashed are in Ithiel Town with a gastronomic bucket list comprised of 50 Food web - featured restaurants and … oh , god … they even take that report about how Kanye could n’t edit . I ’ll be waiting in a Black Friday - caliber melodic line for barbeque for the next five hours , but I ’ll get you brisket if you convey me beer ! ?
“We’re heading to West if you wanna meet up.”
transformation : If you wanna come drink with “ untried professionals ” at a discreetly antiblack rooftop cake , I ’m meeting Chad , Brad , and the residual of the Dallas - bred dad - bod squad there soon . Bring chicks .
“Wanna grab coffee?”
Translation : allow ’s steer to a umber shop that serve brews and booze and guess we ’re going to get coffee before openly embracing our Austin - acceptable point of alcoholism and say beer at 10 am or else .
“Keep Austin weird, right?!”
Translation : I’ve populate here less than a week , and I saw a guy in a G - String on a bicycle ! So WEIRD !
“I need to detox.” [On Monday morning]
Translation : I’m not drinking until Tuesday . Then , margaritas ?
“We bought a house in Cedar Park, but it’s only, like, 25 minutes from Austin!”
Translation : We got married and gave up . You will never see us again .
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Olena YAkobchuk/Shutterstock (edited)
Flickr/Charlie Llewellin
Flickr/Wally Gobetz
Flickr/Moody College of Communication
Flickr/Melissa
Flickr/Matthew Rutledge
Flickr/Lori Grieg
Courtesy of Whisler’s
Flickr/Wally Gobetz
Flickr/richard wezensky
Flickr/Wally Gobetz
Flickr/Will Schoettler
