Your bedchamber is your sanctuary . What you choose to do ( or not do ) with your personal place is a unmediated reflexion of your persona and life style – and women take note . Perhaps to you , that plate cake with three - day - old unlined remnants just blends in with the scene . And maybe you bang thatPineapple Expressposter . But trust me , her inner dialogue on these matters will have you consider doubly about not dust this week .
Roll of toilet paper on your nightstand
await , do what you got ta do when you ’re alone . But you have a client . A lady guest whom you ’re assay to impress . She know exactly what you used that lav paper for prior to her comer , and impressed she is not . She ’s wondering why you do n’t just keep a more - applicable box of tissues nearby .
Rolex display box
OK , so your high - powered line at Credit Suisse in all likelihood checks out . She may even find it attractive that you have a taste for the finer things in life . But if you ’re communicate this fact by way of $ 60k worth of wristwatches exhibited on your dresser , do n’t bear her to bother with the obligatory pocketbook gain next time the check comes .
Gym bag
Oh good , you work out and are actively taking stairs to not wear out a tire of Bud Light around your midsection . She notice your gymnasium grip on the level last time , though – those were different sweaty clothes hanging out of it , right ? Like , that ’s not what that smell is ?
Beer fridge
Now that you ’ve graduated from U of A ( six years ago ) , a bedside mini fridge that allow you to snag a Yuengling without come forth from your duvet is a sign of laziness , immatureness , and perhaps early onset alcoholism . If you brew your own beer , this is an interesting issue of word ; but store the fruit of your labor in the refrigerator that ’s , you know , in your kitchen .
Dust
This one is a catch 22 . Dusting is the last job on everyone ’s lean because it seems less pressing than , let ’s say , laundry or mooch unidentifiable whisker off the bathroom dip . But if you put off cleaning continuously , she will notice dust bunny girl pile up on your story , ceiling fan , and afterwards her socks , which is revolting . Here ’s why you ca n’t win : if your room is so clean you could confidently work out the windowsill , your obvious neurosis might alarm her .
Random hair elastics
Unless you are a cognoscente ofthe humans bun , those well be your sister ’s . Same with the bobby pins on your carpet , the individual earring on your night mesa , or that extra toothbrush in your medicine console .
Guitar
Dude , you ’re asking for it . Of of course she ’ll beg you to play her a song , because a man with a guitar is the worldwide panty dropper … but you likely already know that , which is why your Martin is on exhibit .
Your choice of wall art
This is arguably the most telling part of your way , since you are given a blank bulwark upon which to evince yourself as you please . And you should use that quad ! No décor at all is serial - killer creepy , and/or the sign of a really boring human .
Posters procured from a sales event at your college bookshop are all no - atomic number 102 : the cliché beach scene , theNapoleon Dynamitemovie poster , the two lipstick lesbians kissing in embrace . This tell her nothing about you or your interests , other than you ’re too indolent to shop for real rampart art . Photos of your high school hoops team mean you ’re still bask in your glory day from more than a decade ago . Was that your life ’s height ?
A iris of the country you studied overseas in is great convo cannon fodder if she also studied in Barcelona . But your parents belike paid for that semester of clubbing - and - sometimes - class , so if you still dub it " the best time of your life , " she may wonder why you have n’t traveled further than that damn beer fridge since . Race ribbon and number say you ’re a consecrate soul ; but if you ’re rising at 7 am for a preparation run , she ’s staying in bed .
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist
pull ahead bulwark artistry : actualart , compose photos that you took yourself while skiing in Colorado ( rather exhibit artistic talent ) , bookshelves with real books , and cool lighting . Nowyou’ll get her attention .
Signed sports jersey
While a chip weird to have as a shrine ( specially if it ’s in a case ) , signed Jersey have cooler stories than a Peyton Manning poster tap over your bed . You may also gain some extra point if she ally with the same team . Otherwise , she ’ll be take a leak when you dump Sunday brunch with her to watch football game with your crony … every calendar week .
Taxidermied animals
If you have the straits of a asleep herbivore mounted to your chamber paries , she will most for sure ask about it . Hopefully she ’s not with PETA , and hopefully you ’ve had enough Maker ’s Mark to dull the pain of a gun - control debate . But no matter of her views on hunting , discase in front of Bambi will perturb her . It ’s like having a furryMona Lisafollow her gaze around the room and judge her life alternative . That ’s a circle to abide .
Two twin beds
No . Just , no . Is this your college dorm way or an installment ofI Love Lucy ? Did your Catholic female parent grace your grownup flat ? Does she run your life ? Do you do everything she says ? It does n’t count if you met the girl that night and she went home with you in a tequila - soaked oblivion – women conceive ahead .
Dog bed
OhmyGodyouhaveadog ? ! She LOVES dogs ! ! ! What kind ? ! What ’s his name ? ! She no longer wants to put on installment ofIt ’s Always Sunnyas a preliminary to discase , she just wants to play with the cute puppy - wuppy ! !
Sign up herefor our daily Thrillist email , and get your fix of the near in food / drink / playfulness .
Brooke Sager is an NYC - based contributing writer for Thrillist who like when the guy has a quat because cats do n’t bark during episodes ofIt ’s Always Sunny . She hopes that even though she just admitted to being a cat person , you ’ll still succeed her onInstagramand Twitter:@HIHEELZbrooke .
Flickr/Brad Hagan
Flickr/xelcise
Flickr/Calm Vistas
