In terms of productivity , coffee bean is a double - edged blade : it gives employee the baron to take on unrealistic deadlines , but it also gives Rick an excuse to spend 20 minutes talking to you in the break elbow room about hisBachelorrecaps .
Just like each of those doe - eyed prospective TV Bride , every coffee toper ’s drug abuse are special in their own way , and give scandalous insights into the toper ’s work ethic . Read on to see if your coffee berry ritual imply you exceed expectations , or that you do n’t infer how to habituate reply - all .
One K-Cup in the morning
Just to be a good sport you volunteered for the company softball game team even though you ca n’t throw , catch , bat , or crouch well . That brainpower also fuels the consumption of one daily , symbolic " cupful of joe , " which is a phrase you like to drop around a few times in the first minute of the twenty-four hour period with a joyless smile .
French press
In today ’s digital years it ’s undecipherable how one can collect so much print fabric on a strong-arm screen background , but despite the tilt tower of paperwork , you run best under pressing . Or at least that ’s what you secernate yourself to justify being constantly " swamped " and/or " drowning . "
After-lunch coffee shop espresso
Some people function better when they can get out of the office and stretch their legs , which is a favorite locution of the great unwashed who ’d rather not be working . Unlike most slackers , you actually serve much more productively with an out - of - office sphere misstep a few sentence a week . Despite a heart for the phrase " piece of work - life balance , " you seldom get home before 7 . Very familiar with the least conspicuous way to embark the office .
No coffee, only tea
You take to get to crop a little bit too soon for get a headspring get on the Clarence Day , and also so you do n’t have to make small talk with anyone in the kitchen . You have a huge crush on Don from accounting , but he does n’t even know you subsist .
Thermos brought from home
You brought your coffee in once with a clear objective of spare money , but then forgot the Thermos on your desk when you go home that nighttime . It ’s still sitting where you depart it . You ’re kind of afraid to open it now and might just have the whole thing out .
One steaming-hot cup, cream and sugar, in a “World’s Best Dad” mug
The one prison term you essay to send a response - all GIF , you linked to it instead of drag . You do n’t realize why coworkers wo n’t find fault up the damn phone , and keep a detailed flip Rolodex of contacts with little notes about their children , hometown , and favorite sport teams .
Refills from the coffee pot throughout the day, black
Every day you fantasise about dramatically standing up from your rolling hot seat to foretell that your songwriting calling has taken off and you ’re through with this deadbeat teleselling caper and wo n’t see any of these drones ever again . Once your two weeks ' notice is up .
Remote worker who reheats coffee in the microwave
You respect your employer much more than you respect yourself .
Flavored lattes
Loves team - build exercises .
Last cup of coffee scavenger
Despite mould at the company for three and a half long years , you refuse to learn how to refill the coffee maker and have learned to subsist on one-half cupful of tepid Folgers . The only defect on your annual review is that you could be more of a “ self - starter . "
Iced coffee, even in winter
You ’re a comedian at inwardness and response - all is your stage . You detest warm drinks yet inexplicably love soup .
Recently quit coffee
You ’re the worst forall these reasons and more , but your tegument certainly looks invigorated these days .
Sign up herefor our daily Thrillist email , and get your locating of the good in food / potable / fun .
leungchopan/Shutterstock (edited)
Wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock
RTimages/Shutterstock
Maksim Shirkov/Shutterstock
Cole Saladino/Thrillist
